Micky---"A toy factory. Needs unskilled help. A non-essential job requiring no training or no experience." Mike---"Hey Peter! You don't have any training and you sure don't have any experience. You're the only one qualified."
Mike to Peter---"And remember these three little words... Don't argue." Peter---"That's two words." Mike---"You're starting already."
Mike to Peter---"Besides, you've got something the machine don't have...You got friends." Micky---"Hey you got some friends, Pete? Bring 'em over someday!"
Stan Freberg---"Pardon me maddam. We're only excepting children between the ages of eight and eleven." Peter as Davy's mother---"He is between the ages of eight and eleven. He's thirteen."
Computer---"Your name please." Peter---"What?" Computer---"Thank you, last name What. And your first name Mr. What." Peter---"It's not What!" Computer---"Not What. Mr. Not What What." Peter---"Wait a minute, that's not my name at all. My name is..." Computer---"Occupation?" Peter---"...Peter. Ya dig, Pete." Computer---"You dig Pete. Occupation: Pete digger. And your mother's maiden name?" Peter---"Thompson." Computer---"Mother's name Thompson. Sex please." Peter---"Female of course." Computer---"Alright, Mrs. Not What." Peter---"No my mother is female!" Computer---"What do you do in you spare time Mrs. Not What?" Peter---"Listen, I'm a man!" Computer---"In your spare time you are a man." Peter---"No, no, that's not it at all. First of all you've got my name wrong." Computer---"Correction. Name mispelled, please give correct letter." Peter---"Well, I..." Computer---"Correct letter is 'I'. Name is not Not What, but Nit Whit." Peter---"Oh brother!" Computer---"Brother is also a Nit Whit." Peter---"Now just a minute!" Computer---"That will do Nit Whit. Test complete, interview ended, application rejected." (Peter applying for a job in "Monkee Vs. Machine")
Micky---"My Mommy won't let me play with toys that burn, or scratch, or bash, or go boom."
Peter---"Vampires!!! What a time to be caught without a turtleneck!"
Peter---"If there's one thing I can't stand it's late kidnappers"
Peter---"Why don't we just snik inside and take a look?" Mike---"What'd yuh snik? It's not snik, it's sneak! I sneak, you sneak, we sneak." Peter---"Good then we can all get in!"
Davy---"I have four daughters ...all girls."
Micky---"Chew carefully. How you gonna be president if you don't chew carefully?" Peter---"I don't wanna be pres'dent." Micky--- "Shh! Don't talk with your mouth full."
Peter---"Hey, who turned on the dark?"
Mike (To audience about werewolf Micky)---"He really is biting my hand ya know." (Monstrous Monkee Mash)
Mike (to Micky)---"You almost dropped his mother!" (I Was a Teenage Monster)
All four---"Well that's show business!"
Mike---"Well this is-" Micky---"Mike Nesmith." Mike---"Micky Dolenz." Davy---"And Peter Tork." Peter---"And Davy Jones." Princess Gwen/Mike---"And Micky Dolenz." Mike---"Reminding you to save the Texas Prairie Chicken."
(Fairy Tale Episode) Mike---"Hi, I'm Mike, and I'm the cobbler." Davy---"Hi, I'm Davy and I'm the tailor." Micky---"Hi, I'm Micky, and I'm the innkeeper." Peter---"Hi, I'm Peter...And I'm out of work."
(Fairy Tale Episode) Davy---"I played Gretel. Very....what's the word?" Peter---"Gretel, I think, is the word for it." Davy---"Yes, very Gretel."
Mike---"I fail to acknowledge that I really did that, you know. Yeah, I refuse to accept that fact." (After asked about playing Princess Gwen)
(Hillbilly Honeymoon Episode) Aunt Kate---"Don't you remember your baby cousin Lucy?" Mike---"Lucy? Well whatever happened to the buck-teethed, knock-kneed, stringy-haired, bad-complexioned little girl I used to hang around with?" Aunt Kate---"That's your other cousin, Clara. She still looks the same." Mike---"Oh merciful heavens...."
To Davy---"What bag are you in? Davy---" What what?" To Davy---"What bag are you in?" Davy---"Bag! I don't get that!" To Davy---"Alright let me ask you something. I mean like do you make a folk sound or a rock sound or anything like that?" Davy---"I make a terrible sound." (Monkee screen test)
Captain---"Where did you get that long hair?" Micky---"Well there's a little store on Sunset Strip."
Micky---"Its working. Its working." Mike---"How do you know?" Micky---"I saw the last scene. I saw the last scene."
Peter (On 2001: Live In Las Vegas)---"I like the 3-D glasses." Davy (with woolhat, as Mike)---"I like all three of you too."
Davy (On 2001: Live In Las Vegas)---"I was in the Boy Scouts for about 10 minutes 'til I got thrown out. But...I've been thrown out of better places than that, I'll tell ya!"
Davy (On 2001: Live In Las Vegas in the middle of a song)---"Hey where are you going? I'm singin' a bloody song! Sit down, okay! Where do you think you're going? I'm gonna come down there and get you. Where do you think you're going? Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Wait 'til Micky Dolenz or somebody else comes out, okay! Just sit your little butt down there. A nice one it is too! Thank you! Sorry about that!"
Micky (On 2001: Live In Las Vegas)---"Before the Monkees I actually did have a life...I had another rock 'n roll band. One called Micky and the One Nighters. 'Cause that was it, one night. But what a night it was."
Mike as princess---"I will honor your spine with a walk across it. Down peasant!"
Peter---"My princess! My princess!" Mike as princess---"My bridge! My bridge!"
Mike to Micky---"That's a groovy button. What's it say?" Micky---"Love is the ultimate trip."
Davy---"Once you're in, you're in. It's like the Mafia. Once a Monkee, always a Monkee."
Mike---"We're almost at the height!" Davy---"We're nearly at the top of the heap!" Peter---"It's all down hill from here!"
Micky---"You do and I'll be sorry!"
Peter---"Oh, I don't think you guys are guilty, I just don't see how you could possibly be innocent."
Peter---"I still don't think it was fair for him to fire us." Davy---"Well you know Pete, we weren't exactly a smash." Peter---"Yes we were, only one person left before we were done." Micky---"That was half the audience." Peter---"I still think he should have given us some notice." Micky---"He did. He said get out in ten minutes or I'll beat you up."
Micky to Captain---"We request permission to go aboard, sir!" Captain---"You're already on board!" Micky to Captain---"We request permission to stay on board, sir!" Captain---"Of course you can stay on board! You've got no choice!"
Davy about the Captain---"He's crackers!"
Micky---"Peter's so tough his nails get rusty!"
Davy---"You guys must be out of your birds!"
Micky---"We'll split up, go in three separate directions, leave a trail of bread crumbs wherever you go, and follow them back." Mike---"What if the birds eat the crumbs?" Micky---"Follow the birds."
Micky as Goldie Locks---"The two bears are chasing me from their house!" Davy---"Two bears? I thought there were three bears." Micky---"Yeah, well the Papa bear kinda wanted me to hang around."
Mike as princess---"Defending my honor, isn't that groovy! A bunch of long haired wierdos and some viscious people."
Mike as princess---"I hope you have some sort of an explaination!" Harold---"I despise you!" Mike---"I didn't ask for an apology stupid!"
Peter (On "20th Anniversary 1986")---"I did not come here to be insulted!" Micky--- "Where do you usually go?"
Micky (On "20th Anniversary 1986" during "She")---"I can't get up! Help me, I can't get up!" (Davy helps him up) Davy---"Now stop messing about and sing the song!" Micky---"I wasn't messing about! I couldn't get up!" Davy---"Well, sing the song!" Micky---"No!" Davy---"Yes!" Micky---"No!" Davy---"Yes!" Micky---"No!" Davy---"Yes!" Micky---"No!" Davy---"No!" Micky---"Yes!" Davy---"Alright." Micky---"Huh?"
Mike---"Hey there good buddy, I've killed me many'a mountain lions with this bow'n'arruh (arrow) here."
Peter---"Mike, we've decided we're not gonna let you take this lying down!"
Micky---"Hey Mike, you wanna see my impression of the inimitable James Cagney?"
Mike as Princess---"You realize of course Harold that this means we're through! Absolutely thuh-rough!"
